Decisions

I wouldn't categorize myself in with the kids who did it the "right way" after graduating high school. You know, those kids who graduated with a 4.0 GPA and received scholarships to whatever college of their choosing. Yeah, that wasn't me. Apparently, I missed out on this "right way" memo and did things the complete opposite of how todays parents want their children doing things after graduating high school. I was the kid who was blessed with parents who gave me the ultimate decision in deciding what to do with my life, and what I thought was going to be the best for me. 

About 3/4 of my class had already picked out and applied for the college of their choosing half way through Junior year of high school. Not me. Yes, I had goals and aspiration just like any other open-minded teen; I wanted to go to Cosmetology school, then attend college for Nutrition, Business, and Photography. My Junior year, I doubled up on all of my core classes so I could graduate mid-term my senior year. Sure enough, I did. I graduated half way through my senior year and worked full-time second semester until the formal graduation came around. I was ready for the world. I was that kid who wanted to do it all. 

Let's throw it back here for a minutes to help elaborate on the story... My parents decided to get a divorce as I was entering in to my 7th grade year. My brother was a Sophomore in high school and my little brother was in 5th grade. All of our ages I would consider vulnerable ages or stages in life because as children, preteens, and teens, we were still trying to figure out who we were without our parents, and figuring out who this whole life thing worked. Anyways, after my parents divorced, I started to see how completely different my mom and dad were from each other. They say "opposites attract" but not in every case. One side of my family wanted me to graduate high school, go to college, get a good job, then get married and start a life. The other side, wanted me to find what truly made me happy in life and stick with it, no matter what it was. If you can picture this image in your head like I did for many years, just imagine playing tug of war, you being the rope and each parent pulling an arm. Metaphorically of course. 

Being your parents, you want to do everything in your power to make them happy and proud. That is where I was torn. For the longest time, I cared more about making others happy that I forgot about my own happiness and well being. I jumped back and forth A LOT. So much, that my senior year, I applied for the University of Kansas and got accepted. Realizing not much later, that going off to college wasn't something I was ready for. Can you see where this is going?

You see, a lot can happen in a semester, and a lot can change. I just happened to realize the love of my life was standing right in front of me the whole time. Talk about a game changer! Woah. He was my best friend at the time and it never occurred to me that our friendship meant more to me [and him]. At this point, I was getting ready to enroll for my first semester at the University of Kansas, I was preparing for my formal High School Graduation Ceremony, thinking if I should go to my Senior Prom, AND working full-time. I was a busy girl preparing to start my life as an independent full-time college student in the big world. But, the more and more it was talked and thought about, I started to realize more and more than it wasn't what I wanted to do. It wasn't what made me happy. 

Catching these context clues yet? 

That best friend of mine is now my husband. Yes, I married my best friend and the love of my life. Telling my parents that I wasn't ready for college and that it wasn't going to make me happy was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. I made a grown-up decision and I live with the decisions I have made. Some family wasn't too happy with my decisions, but if there is one thing I have learned, it is that there are always going to be those in your life who do not agree with the decision you make. But, I am a believer that you need to make yourself happy before you can make others happy. Just like you have to love yourself first in order to love another. 

Everyone has a story; everyone is unique. My story is still being written with each passing day, and so is yours. Everyday we are faced with decisions and challenges that can either make us or break us. But mistakes are only lessons learned. Mistakes and decision making is apart of growing up and becoming independent.  We live with the mistakes and decisions we make. It helps us grow and makes us into who we are today. It's simple, do what makes you happy. Weather it's going to college and being a full-time student, working full-time and saving money, or marrying your best friend and starting a life together. No matter what it is, it is your life and you have complete control. Make decisions for yourself and find something in this beautiful world that makes you happy and go for it.